Well, for my first post on this wonderful piece of proxies and cookies, I've decided to base it on the most unholy of pains: headaches. They are the bane of my existence, and I am just so done with them. Here's how they work (for me, at least... I have no idea the effect they have on any of you homefries).
It all starts with a tiny prickle, similar to a fairy's beloved kiss. So, naturally, I don't worry about it because who really needs to worry when you've got a fairy kissing you. Fast forward about half an hour, and everything hits the fan. No longer are the harmless, pretty fairies kissing you. No, they have transformed into fearsome warriors, and they are hacking at your brain with chainsaws and battle axes. They also invite their close friends, the T-rexes, to the party of destruction, causing major pulses of psychotic pain to shoot through your skull.
That is how it lasts, and it's at this point that I tend to grab Advil (or any other similar pain medication in the cabinet), and take the pills like a man with whatever drink seems awesome at the time (i.e. it was water an hour ago).
This destruction derby goes on until Officer Ad Vill arrives, between an hour and three hours later. When it's an hour, it's because he was out getting coffee with his friends Coff and May Doll. But when it's three hours, it means he was succumbing to his natural instincts, and eating doughnuts with all his cop buddies.
Finally, after all my pain and suffering, the headache leaves. Key word: ache of the head. For some reason only the stars and heavens know, pain travels from one place to another, forever demanding to be felt. So the minute my head stops pounding, my eyes volunteer for duty, and go to war with eager smiles on their face. But it is nothing like the posters depicted.
This war is full of pain and agony, and causes the twin eyes to feel the entire outline of their form within Kaylee's eye sockets. Victoriously, they return, but not unscathed. The pain is forever a reminder, but always leaves, and either becomes too small to be felt, or I am finally just too used to the ache to even care.
And so, woe is me with my brain shattering and eye scarring "migraines" (quotations because I don't actually know what a migraine is, I just assume it to be the worst pain I have ever felt within my fragile cranium). And, incidentally, these Brain Wars happen quite regularly, so YAY for me! *party popper explodes*
Hope my homefries are having the loveliest summer, and are not too depressed by my ultra descriptive post! Love ya'll!
<(") The Purple Ninja
Straight up, Homefry Kaylee! The Brain Wars are a plague on humanity. In terms of seemingly innocent beginnings that escalate to savagery beyond measure, headaches (for me, at least) rank on the same level as: shampoo in one's eye(s), cramps during a test, waking up via Charlie Horse, and flexing your foot at such an angle that it seizes up.
ReplyDeleteFellow homefries, these are the tortures of life.